hellllooo...the emptiness in me..solved.

I guess i should be thankful for where i am in life right now because so many other people are struggling to get jobs or even starting their careers. but, i found that having a full time job right out of school and not having time to myself to travel, do what i want to do, etc., is really depressing! it has been so sunny this past week and here i am, stuck in an office, working. i miss having the freedom to be outside in the daytime, smelling the fresh air as i walk to class, or just plain chilllin when i can. i guess what im trying to say is that..i miss school and im not ready to be stuck in this 8-5 repetitive i-want-to-shoot-myself-for-being-so-routine schedule.

i miss having the flexible schedule and getting off class early and being able to choose if i want to go to class or not. with work, i have no choice but to get up at the same time everyday and leave work when the sun's already setting. i asked my co-workers how they do it..but they say they're just so used to it since they've been working for a while now. for me, i really find it hard to deal with and it's what has been bugging me ever since i've been back to work. during the company shut down, i realized how much i miss life before working full-time. i miss spending all day with my baby, going on adventures, or just sleeping in until past noon. i miss being able to drive to random places, running errands when no one else is, just having the freedom to CHOOOSE what I want to do at the moment. i'm so miserable right now!! and it's crazy because i really should be happy because i've accomplished so much getting this position.

of course, i am thankful. i just look at the situation..as..well..more positively than i feel. the ups of working is that i guess i have the opportunity to save for my future..save for my own place that i've always wanted...and get experience for business school (something that i'm dying to accomplish in my lifetime within these next 3-4 years). i've also been able to get a start on my career, since i'm doing accounting right now. but geeeez..why do i feeeel like this? it's driving me nuts. and what's crazy is that my position is temp and i have no way of getting days off of work so that i can enjoy whatever's out there or even time for myself.

i miss irvine. <-- the best years of my life so far <3

until then..